I am a single mom parenting a child with FASD. Back in 2009 my (now ex) husband and I adopted an adorable two and a half year old boy from Russia. We were aware at the time of his adoption that he would be somewhere on the Fetal Alcohol Spectrum. Our daughter had been diagnosed with ADHD and we thought that although we didn't know everything an FASD diagnosis would mean (and honestly I still don't if you've met one person with FASD - you know about one person with FASD) we could handle his needs. Nothing I have or will learn (or live through) would change that choice.
After parenting my son for about three years and seeing how little help or support there is out there for children and adults living with FASD I felt like I had to start DOING something. I mean something more than the OT, PT, Speech, Sensory therapy, and general enrichment opportunities I was providing for my son. Four years later I'm still not exactly sure what that something is yet. This blog was my first step toward finding it and continues to be a place I post randomly about what we are thinking feeling and experiencing. I also educate about FASD and speak about respect for neurodiversity at schools, conferences and basically anyplace that will let me.
Learning about FASD also led me to understand the troubles my foster brother has had throughout his childhood and young adulthood. I was not at all surprised to find in his records that his mother drank heavily during her pregnancy. I have been so happy to find that as I've learned more - I've been able to support him much better in his issues. It gives me hope of helping my son avoid some of the same issues entirely and seeing both my brother and other affected adults I've met on this journey not just survive but thrive has in many ways changed my focus. I'm no longer interested in helping my son become more "normal" (what ever that even is anyway) but in helping him function in the world happily, healthily AS HIMSELF.
Children with Fetal Alcohol Disorder are often described as 10 second kids in a 1 or 2 second world. I chose that for the title of my blog because it rings true for me. (On the other hand, my daughter is a nano second child in a 2 second world.)
I once described myself as the least patient person in the world. One day at a time my kids are changing that.
I do not use my children's names on my blog. I realize this is a pitiful attempt to preserve privacy and that anyone with any computer skills could find out who I am, and thus who they are, easily. I'm asking you to please remember they are children and entitled to some privacy even if their mom chooses to blog. So if you know me, or just decide to "uncover" me please do not use their names on the blog. Here on the blog our my son is Little Man, my daughter I usually call Eden or my Barn Baby (due to her enduring love of all things related to horses.) I also talk less about my daughter than my son. This is not in any way because I love her less. It is simply because this blog focuses on FASD, not on our family overall. Also she is a teen. By just existing I mortify her at times. Blogging about her would be - well I'm just not going there without her permission - in writing. (Probably not even then)