There has been a lot of chatter on line these days about
this new PSA
Go watch - see what you think. I'd be interested to hear.
I've listened to parents say how good it is to see an ad
that shows the truth about how hard FASD is.
I've listened to other parents talk about how hard this is to watch and
how much it hurts them to think about their own children in these terms. I've listened to adults on the fetal alcohol
spectrum and to outsiders who have no personal connection to our
community. I find myself in bits and pieces
of all of their comments and still somehow struggling for my own words. I've asked permission to share some of theirs
and where I have received it I will but I feel like continuing to wrestle with
it myself is important. For me this video
cuts to the heart of the dilemma I struggle so hard to express over and over
here.
If we know how to
prevent a difference should we be doing so?
Does that make the difference automatically “BAD”? There are so many differences we have learned
to accept – imperfectly true – but in this wholly imperfect world we have made at
least some space. Those that are blind
or deaf or paralyzed or of different skin tones or different religions or
different sexuality are not automatically shunned or separated. To be sure racism, sexism, homophobia, religious
persecution, ableism all still exist but they are no longer universally
accepted. There are people who will
stand up and say “NO – this is not acceptable!”
And they are not only the people who ARE different fighting and pushing
back on that hate.
What if though, what if we knew how to “prevent”
homosexuality? Or blindness? Or a particular belief system? Would it be ok to run public service ads
promoting prevention? Especially ads that
focused entirely on fear – on the worst possible outcome for their lives? Would it be ok to film a PSA that showed a
young deaf boy – never taught to sign or lip read- punished for not hearing
until he became depressed, violent, abused alcohol or drugs to escape his pain
and confusion, ran away and living on the streets – to encourage women to – I don’t
know - what ever prevented deafness in this hypothetical construct. Having had many deaf friends in college (I
attended a school with a specific program for deaf students) I feel pretty safe
venturing the guess that the deaf community would be up in arms and they would
not be alone. How about an ad that
showed a young homosexual being bullied and shamed into depression and possible
suicide attempts then being killed by thugs like Matthew Shepard? So that women would avoid what ever "caused" homosexuality?
I’m not saying that the information about the cause of FASD
should not be out there – should not be widely distributed to the public, that we
should not try to minimize the number of children born exposed. But I AM tired of the relentless negative
portrayal of those affected. I’m tired
of seeing their struggles and pain shown as inevitable when huge parts of those very struggles are preventable. Let's work on prevention - lets work on prevention of their pain with understanding and support.
Being born deaf, or blind or homosexual or to a certain set of religious
beliefs or of a certain race does NOT doom one to a life of misery and destruction
and neither does being born alcohol exposed.
I have an auntie with spins bifida -- she encourages all her female relatives to get enough folic acid during pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI adore my aunt, she's a wonderful, loving, kid and well-educated woman who happens to be in a wheelchair and has a great life -- but she's also the first to tell you that if given a choice, she'd rather have been born healthy (causes of SB weren't known when she was born).
I can't imagine living her *less.* if she didn't have SB -- nor could her husband, family and friends.
Why WOULDN'T you want to prevent a preventable illness?
My dad (who raised me as a single parent) was born blind... He's fine with it, also has a great life but would likely prefer to be NOT blind if it was an option.
Kate - thank you for your thoughts. Many people who are disabled in one way or another would prefer not to have been. There are however also many who do not wish that their difference could have been prevented or could be corrected. I have no opinion on rightness or wrongness of their preferences. How could I since I do not share their experience?
DeleteI do not believe looking for a prevention or cure is "bad" in itself. What I struggle so much with is why we are not making the world as accessible as possible to all those who are here now and experience it differently. IF there is a prevention or cure someday (or even now) - people should be free to choose or not choose it as they wish. (There are many many persons who choose NOT to have cochlear implant treatment for their deafness. I certainly do not feel qualified to tell them they are wrong any more than I would tell someone who did have the implant they were.) What I object to is stigmatizing people born with a difference when we do nothing to enable them to succeed as they are now. does that make what I was saying any clearer?